As of recent, I’ve noticed that I’m not entirely satisfied until I read a large portion of books in an author’s repertoire.  It all began when, after reading 3 and waiting for the publication of another book from Augustine Burroughs, I decided it would be *so* cool to read all of his books.  Well, that didn’t happen; I have yet to read “Sellevision,” “Dry,” and his most recent Christmas-based short stories.  I think I hit the proverbial wall when I went to read “Dry” but heard the book was a bit depressing.  Also, since I don’t have an alcohol problem and didn’t want to make myself feel bad about those one to two (OK maybe 6) drinks I have when I finally have time to “let loose,” I decided to abandon my desire to read all of Burroughs’ books.  Nevertheless, the drive is still there.  It lurks in the dark recesses of my mind and bobs to the surface when I find an author who I enjoy.  Who’s my lucky new obsession, you ask?  Well, none other than Dame Agatha Christie.  (She’s a f*cking Dame!)

Within the past month and few weeks (mid-July to now), I’ve read: “Murder on the Orient Express,” “The Body in the Library,” “Death on the Nile,” “A Caribbean Mystery,” “Hallowe’en Party,” “4:50 from Paddington” (aka “What Mrs. McGillicuddy Saw”), “Death in the Clouds” and “The Tuesday Club Murders”  (aka “The Thirteen Problems”).  Yes, you may now marvel at my lack of blogging.  I’ve been awful (::sad face::).  But don’t fret blogsters!  I’m returning to a feature you’ve seen on this site before at which I’m incredibly good.  Welcome to my compressed blog entry about Christie!

Hercule Poirot: Belgian, retired detective who relocated to London, England.  Known to be cocky (I have yet to find him annoying though Dame Christie grew tired of him due to his arrogant nature) and for his great mustaches (did you know that mustache can be written in its plural form even when talking about one man with one mustache?)

• Murder on the Orient Express: Absolutely loved the structure of the book though some might find it a bit repetitive and dauntingly structured.  I’m incredibly grateful to the book gods that this is the book that first introduced me to Agatha Christie because if I had read another, then I might not have continued reading books in her repertoire.  4 stars.
• Death on the Nile: Great story where the culprit is who you think it is from the beginning even though none of the evidence points in their direction.  Bear with the first section’s brevity; it’s def. worth reading even if you don’t see the purpose of the revealed scenes.   5 stars.
• Hallowe’en Party:  I was really excited to read this book because it dealt with my favorite holiday, Halloween.  And the book def. delivers on the creepy factor.  For one thing, the story revolves around the death of a child (drowned in a “bobbing for apples” tub).  Child deaths in stories are creepy as is, but Dame Christie further adds onto the creepy factor by including the inevitable frustrations of her era.  The story encompasses the darkness that comes from those who don’t understand the changing of the times.  And you definitely get this feeling especially when everyone in the book has their own diatribe on the new philosophies that were evolving during the mid-20^th century regarding psychology and the processes and functioning of a murderous mind.  The story also has a bit of spiritualism twisted throughout the chapters.  Even though “Hallowe’en Party” had tons of creepy appeal, I still wasn’t overly impressed with its pace.  Slow throughout until the last few chapters when all is sped up in order to reveal the murderer’s intent doesn’t get a high rating from me.  Sooo 3 stars.
• Death in the Clouds: Was a bit disappointed that unlike “Murder on the Orient Express,” the detective solving wasn’t conducted in the mode of transportation (here, the airplane, while in Orient Express, a train).  In fact, most of the detective work was done off-plane.  Not as much Poirot activity – in fact, a lot of the sleuthing was conducted by potential suspects.  But, nevertheless, an interesting read.  Culprit is not who you think it is, and the murder seems a bit fantastical, but I guess that’s what you get when someone dies in a small plane at the hands of a poisoned dart.  4 stars.

Miss Marple:  An octogenarian who may be an old pussy to others, but has a very keen, sharp mind.  She also loves to gossip – def. a woman after my own heart!

• The Body in the Library: Wow, what a ride.  The story begins with, well, a body in a stranger’s library.  (Could you imagine waking up and finding a person, who you’ve never seen before, dead in your house?  And the negative implications that “the event” would have upon you and your family?  Scaries!)  But then ends at a hotel resort and a missing dancer.  Very strange connection but it works in the end.  4 stars.
• A Caribbean Mystery: What a perfect setting!  For someone who loves the beach but has yet to be there this summer, this gave my heart an ache.  Nevertheless, even though based in a Caribbean paradise, I felt that the story fell short compared to her others.  Miss Marple is a doll per usual and the plot was interesting, but after a certain point, it becomes quite obvious who the culprit is.  It seriously took me only a few chapters before I had Miss Marple beat.  Funny enough, when the story was first published, everyone thought it was the return of/a mighty triumph for Agatha Christie.  Either I missed the amazingness of this story or the stories published before this one sucked balls.  Here’s hoping it’s the former.  3 stars.
• 4:50 from Paddington: After reading “Murder on the Orient Express,” I was super excited to read another book based on a murder that happens on a train.  The book’s summary (on the back) was super titillating as well – a woman happens to glance out of her train’s window and sees a man strangling a woman in the train next to her.  Wtf!  When does that ever happen!  Anyway, Christie, again, asks her readers to travel down a rabbit hole in order to find the culprit hiding at the bottom in an unlikely place.  And as always, it’s definitely worth the journey.  4 stars.
• The Tuesday Club Murders: Great book for those who like short stories and compact mysteries.  Miss Marple and company, which is composed of random dinner guests, decide it might be fun to have others solve mysteries that they had experienced/witnessed at one point in their lives.  Of course, Miss Marple creepily has all the answers and is able to explain each situation while everyone else is left dumbfounded.  While the stories are quite entertaining, I will say that I find it highly improbable that every single person at the dinners all faced a mystery in their lives that was intriguing.  That or I lead a boring life, which unfortunately might be the case.  New Year’s resolution for 2011?  Find myself in situations where I need to solve a murder mystery….or not!  5 stars.

After reading these eight books, I think it’s safe to say that Miss Christie has found a new follower.  Now, I’m off to read “Isaac’s Storm” for a new book club I joined at work…hopefully it’s interesting…Either way, you’ll def. find out shortly!

Sookie: “A year ago, I said, “you wouldn’t have asked this of me.”
Alcide: “A year ago,” he answered, “you wouldn’t have hesitated to drink.”

I’ve done it!  I’ve officially finished – well caught up – with Sookie!  Hurrays!  Thoughts on the 10^th book you ask?  Well, I’ve got to admit.  This is the first time I’ve actually thought Sookie was kick-ass.  She was hardcore, a bit more jaded, and finally not as stupid/naive about vampire/were affairs.  And you know who else grew up?  Jason.  I KNOW!  The Stackhouse family is finally beginning to feel and act like real people.  I guess it just took the death of their grandmother, Crystal and her baby, and tons of vampires, weres, and faeries; a huge ass explosion in Rhodes; multiple potential rape sequences; and being tortured and beaten numerous times for the Stackhouse family to let it sink into their heads that maybe their outlook on life could use some readjustment…just, maybe.

What else…Claude was sweet, in his cocky way; Vampire Bill was Vampire Bill (do I sense a bit of jealousy Sookie?  Hmm?); Alcide was way too alpha-male for my taste – he’s def. not the charming Southern Alcide to whom we were introduced in book 3; Sam STILL dates the weirdest people ever; and Eric was…meh – very un-like Eric.  I’ve noticed I don’t really like powerless, emotional Eric.  Give me the hardass Eric any day of the week.

Long story short, I really don’t know where Ms. Harris is taking this series.  Rumor has it that she is signed on to write 3 more books and that Sookie has yet to meet her “soul mate.”  So what does this all mean?  As of now, Sookie is officially blood-bonded to Eric and will not be able to date any other vampires since she’s vampire-married to him.  But based on Harris’ hints, it seems as though Sookie and Eric are not meant to be, and in order for her to actually move on and meet her soul mate, either Eric has to die or the blood-bond needs to be dissolved.  And now a collective scream erupts from the female population.  Everyone seems to want Sookie and Eric to work out.  Personally, I’m in agreement with Ms. Harris: Sookie has yet to meet the man of her dreams.  But can Harris effectively relay a plot-line where Sookie genuinely and convincing falls for that mysterious tall, dark, and handsome man?  It took Harris 10 books to finally have Sookie and Eric fall in love.  Based on her past time-lines, I’m going to have to answer “no” to my question.  It seems like Sookie will be here well past the next allotment of 3 books.  So Sookie-lovers, please feel free to breathe a sigh of relief.

All in all, I give this book 3.5 stars.

I learned an important life lesson recently – I get incredibly (and I mean incredibly) sick when reading while on a moving vehicle and with an empty tummy.  Give me a stuffy metro bus or train with a full tummy any day over an air conditioned car with a tummy on “E.”  What sparked this revelation you ask?  Well boys and girls of the internet realm, I officially started a new job in the city!  Hurrays!  Yes, I miss my old job and coworkers with a passion, but I’m super excited about the new employment opportunity and being a part of the “rat race” – I know, I’m weird…

However, one down side to my new job: no hour lunch break, which means not as much time to read during the day other than while in transit.  And it has been a bit of a challenge to learn the much-needed skill of reading while trying to hang on to a pole on a forward tunneling metro while sandwiched between two sweating suited men.  Needless to say, this chick will never become a stripper.  ANYWAY…while it took me some time to do it, I was able to find a peaceful place of Zen which allows me to read while on the metro – thank God because I missed reading – and I finally finished “Dead and Gone,” the “ninth” book in the Sookie Stackhouse or Southern Vampire Mystery series.

Thoughts on the book?  Well, as I said before, I wouldn’t classify these books as “mysteries” anymore.  They’ve officially evolved into the soap opera genre, and “Dead and Gone” def. does not disappoint its new label.  From the get-go, the weres/shifters announce their existence to the world, Jason’s pregnant wife (Crystal) is crucified, and the faeries are officially on the prowl.  And all that only happens in the first few chapters!  Geez!  Thanks Miss Harris for making this a “light” read.  And if you thought the story would get any better, well, you’re dead wrong; it all goes downhill from there.  Main characters are killed (Claudine) or fatally injured (vampire Bill) and the world changes – with time, I believe we’ll find out whether it was for better or worse.  One positive thing though is that Sookie and her womanizing brother – his wife is crucified and he’s already dating someone new by the middle of the book, therefore, I think it’s safe for me to use the “w” word – may have finally evolved into more likable characters…may being the operative word.

I’ll let you know if my hunch is right once I’m done with “Dead in the Family,” which I finally was able to find at my local library ::semi-squeal::

All in all, I give this book the usual 3 stars – it was nothing spectacular.

Remember during the 2008 elections when people made fun of Palin’s “bridge to nowhere”?  Now I don’t know the specifics behind the story, nor do I want to delve into my dislike of the self-proclaimed pitbull with lipstick, but the term is one that stuck with me.  As you can imagine, a bridge to nowhere is generally a bridge (sometimes proposed and other times actually built) which leads to a remote place that either isn’t heavily populated or wouldn’t be somewhere that most people would want to go.  “From Dead to Worse” is Charlaine Harris’ bridge to nowhere.

I don’t even know what to say about it.  The book is pretty much three short stories that are intertwined via flimsy plot devices.  First, we have the were “war” – basically a Katrina-refugee pack wants to take over the Shreveport pack and causes a 15 minute fight to take place.  Ok.  Next, we have the vampire “take over” – Nevada vamps kill toe-less Sophie and make Eric pledge allegiance to them.  Ok, sure, why not.  And then we find out Sookie has a great-grandfather who’s a fae. prince.  Ok….  And then that’s it.  Seriously?  Yep!  Sure, there are small other side-stories: Jason’s wife is a ho – no surprise there; Sookie breaks up with Quinn – again, who didn’t see that coming; and Eric regains his memory (remember he had amnesia throughout most of book four) – Harris had to do this in order to add more complication to the Sookie/Eric relationship.  But that’s about it.  No super huge mysteries.  No super huge “who-dun-its.”  Nothing.  This book totally does not deserve to be in the “mystery” section of any book store/library.  I seriously want back the time I spent reading this book.

Obviously, I give this book 2 stars.  There were two scenes that made me want to bump the score up a bit, but in the end, my utter hatred for the book won over.

Has anyone scoped out the Shakespeare shirt on shirt.woot today?  Gimme gimme!  I will gladly dish out $15 once it’s restocked! <3

When I was younger, my ultimate dream job was to be a “zoo keeper,” particularly a “dolphin trainer.”  And like most childhood dreams, my desire to take care of large animals faded with time.  Now if you’d ask me what my dream job would be, I’d probably tell you any job that gave me the ability to learn (go to school) and read.  I know – I’m a huge nerd.  Of course, sometimes I feel like I josh myself when I say that I wouldn’t get bored with reading/writing/learning 24/7, so that’s why I’d open a coffee shop that centered around reading and music and my love of baking everything but cookies (admittedly, I am a cookie-monster-making-failure ::hangs head::)!  So where is all this going you ask?  Well, reality is I don’t have a wealthy sponsor who’d just love to watch me grow as an intellectual, and like everyone else out there, I have [a] job(s) that pay(s) the bills.  Not to say I don’t like my job(s) – I do, but every once in a while, I feel that twinge of longing to just sit in a café and read a book.  ::sigh of longing::  Anyway, so when I checked my goodreads account to see how many books I read this year, I was a bit put down that so far I was only able to read 23 books!  That seems so minuscule especially when I know of people who have goals to read 100 books a year.  At this rate, I’ll maybe reach 50 if I’m lucky.  I also noticed, after looking at my small list of books, that I have not blogged about all the books I’ve read so far.  It appears that I’ve been a delinquent in many ways.  So in order to motivate myself for the future plundering of books and blogging about my escapades, I’ve decided to list all the books I’ve read as of June 30.  A big shout out and thank you to goodreads for giving me the ability to have a virtual library and for faux-keeping me accountable to my bookwormish nature.

1. Secret Lives of Great Artists: What Your Teachers Never Told You About Master Painters and Sculptors; finished Jan. 8^th; 4 stars
2. The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories; finished Jan. 9^th; 5 stars
3. Dracula the Un-Dead; finished Jan. 20^th; 3 stars
4. The Lost Symbol; finished Jan. 21^st; 3 stars
5. A Study in Scarlet; finished Jan. 28^th; 4 stars
6. Dead Until Dark (Sookie Stackhouse, #1); finished in Feb.; 3 stars
7. Living Dead in Dallas (Sookie Stackhouse, #2); finished Feb. 3^rd; 4 stars
8. The Valley of Fear; finished Feb. 8^th; 4 stars
9. Game Change: Obama and the Clintons, McCain and Palin, and the Race of a Lifetime; finished Feb. 16^th; 4 stars
10. Shutter Island: A Novel; finished Feb. 23^rd; 5 stars
11. The Woodlanders; finished Mar. 15^th; 4 stars
12. The Sign of Four; finished Mar. 25^th; 5 stars
13. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: Dawn of the Dreadfuls; finished Apr. 5^th; 4 stars
14. Soulless (The Parasol Protectorate, #1); finished Apr. 17^th; 4 stars
15. Apple Turnover Murder (Hannah Swensen, #13); finished Apr. 22^nd; 3 stars
16. The Virgin’s Lover; finished May 3^rd; 3 stars
17. The Red Pyramid (Kane Chronicles, #1); finished May 10^th; 5 stars
18. Club Dead (Sookie Stackhouse, #3); finished May 31^st; 3 stars
19. Dead to the World (Sookie Stackhouse, #4); finished Jun. 5^th; 3 stars
20. Dead as a Doornail (Sookie Stackhouse, #5); finished Jun. 10^th; 3 stars
21. Definitely Dead (Sookie Stackhouse, #6); finished Jun. 16^th; 3 stars
22. All Together Dead (Sookie Stackhouse, #7); finished Jun. 23^rd; 2 stars
23. A Touch of Dead (Southern Vampire Mystery Short Stories); finished Jun 26^th; 3 stars

And I’m currently reading: From Dead to Worse (Sookie Stackhouse, #8); on page 241; most likely going to rate this a 2 star-er as well – I seriously don’t know where the plot is going…  Oh!  And I re-read Titus Andronicus – that should count for something right?  So like…23 1/2? ::shrug::  What are you all reading?

There once was a conference at Rhodes,
which attracted both vampires and foes.
A few tricks were played -
Explosion by day -
and now Sophie Leclerq has no toes.

Throw in a blood-bond to Eric, some confusing sequences with Quinn and Barry the bell boy, and you’ve got your story.  Hurrays!

Only recommended to those who have already invested themselves into the series.  This was by far the most disappointing Sookie book for me.

So, I’m going to try something new.  Since you can easily read a synopsis of the books online (thanks Wikipedia!) and don’t need me to summarize the events – especially since these two books seem to be everyone’s least favorite in the series (per the reviews on goodreads), I decided to delve into a character evaluation of the elegible bachelors in Sookie’s life to help myself decide who I think she should date.

Sam: Shifter. Owner and Sookie’s boss at Merlotte.  Average height with curly red-blonde hair.  Protective of Sookie, even when in his dog (collie) form.  Has a tendency to be attracted to weird and def. un-Sookie-like girls – the maenad (book 2) and Tanya (book 6).  Super hormonal in book 5, which slightly turned me off from him.  Buuuut, he’s genuinely a good guy who tries to see the best in people, unless, of course, they’re attracted to Sookie; then, he turns into an over-possessive hothead. 

Bill: Vampire dating back to the Civil War era.  Tall with brown hair and eyes.  Silent as the grave and emotionless.  Very possessive of Sookie.  Allows himself to be manipulated by the vamp. women in his life, which has a tendency to conflict with his romantic relationships.  Even though he does some dickish things, you can tell he truly cares for Sookie, though you constantly wonder if his motivations are pure.

Eric: Vampire who looks as though he dates back to the Viking era (I believe he is revealed to be older later in the series).  Tall with shoulder length blonde hair and blue eyes.  Has been acting strange ever since the amnesia incident in book 4.  This doubles once Sookie tells him what happened.  Tendency to be cocky (hardy har har) and manipulates situations in order to get his way.  Def. can sense a steady growing attraction to Sookie that is deeper than lust or his desire to use her in order to develop more power within the vampire community.

Alcide: Were.  Tall with unruly black hair and green eyes.  Like Sam, while attracted to Sookie, he has a tendency to like women who definitely wouldn’t fit her personality description.  Comes with tons of baggage.  If Sookie started to date him, she would most likely need to buy health and maybe even life insurance because she’ll get burned by ghosts from his past.  Most likely to cheat on her if he feels the call of nature to reproduce his kind.

Calvin: Werepanther.  A wee-bit taller than Sookie (who stands at 5’6”) with greying hair and goldish green eyes.  Incredibly kind, but his kindness might come with a price.  Sookie feels comfortable around him and he can offer her a financially comfortable life, but she’d only be marrying him for stability and not out of love.

Charles: Vampire who looks as though he dates back to the days of pirates.  Average height with curly shoulder length brown hair.  Wears an eyepatch.  Super charming and yet mysterious.  At the end of book 5, the readers find out he’s a bit too loyal to his mentor and has a tendency to keep all promises, no matter the outcome.

Claude: Fairy.  Tall with flowing black hair and dreamy brown eyes.  Had his ears surgically enhanced to replicate a human ear (faeries have pointed ears – of course).  General female response when they see him: “wow.”  But if the female population were able to muster a word or two at him, they’d find that he’s super egotistical.  It’s all for the better though since he plays for the home team (if you know what I mean ::wink wink::).

Quinn: Weretiger.  Tall with no hair (bald) and deep purple eyes.  Looks like a muscular genie with an olive (as opposed to blue) complexion.  If he seriously calls Sookie “babe” one more time, I might jump into the story and punch him in the nose.  Not much is known about him, so I’ll have to form my opinion of him as their relationship develops.

To tell you the honest-to-God truth, I’ve been hoping that Sookie would fall for Calvin.  I know, I know…”ew.”  But he’s the most stable potential beau and someone who I think would take good care of our telepathic heroine.  Nevertheless, she’s not attracted to him (understandable), so I guess I’ll just have to move on to the second best bf for Sookie…which would be no one.  Seriously, all the men in her life have some SUPER huge flaws, and I am not terribly satisfied with anyone.  I guess come the last and final book in the series, which, as of now, looks like it’s going to be the 13th book (real campy, I know), Ms. Harris will have Sookie settle for someone, but as things stand now, Ms. Harris has an uphill battle on her hands – to develop her male characters into someone(s) actually date-worthy.

No matter how hard she tried, Honors English could not bring a smile to sad Keanu’s face.

In honor of the season [3] premier of TrueBlood last Sunday, I give you my review of “Dead to the World.” 

Disclaimer: No, I do not watch TrueBlood, but I have a significant number of friends who do.  Will I ever watch the show?  Maybe.  But from what I’ve heard, the show makes a lot of deviations from the books, and I’m one of those people who if I’ve read the book first, I want the show/movie to reflect the book with no artistic changes unless they were utterly necessary.  Now, on to the book review!

Oh book 4.  What is there to say about you?

• Sookie and Bill are on the outs.  Now, I do have some beef regarding their relationship.  While it’s warranted that they should be calling it quits, Sookie totally doesn’t give Bill the same amount of slack she does to other supernatural individuals.  But whatevs – her problem, not mine.
• Eric was cursed by a coven of witches and loses his memory.  He then becomes docile, big-eyed Eric and Sookie takes advantage of his mental amnesia by enrolling him in sexual gymnastics and then dead body removal.
• Sookie’s fairy godmother is introduced – I kid you not.
• Jason goes missing and it takes 280 pages (of a 291 page book) for Sam to connect the dots that he knows 1) werepanther Felton is in love with werepanther Cyrstal, 2) Crystal shows up with Jason at Merlotte’s NYE party, 3) Jason goes missing and there is a bloody ANIMAL print outside Jason’s house that’s most likely connected to the disappearance.  Really Sam, really?  I thought you were better than that. 
• Jason is rescued and will most likely turn into a werepanther at the next full moon.  Or maybe the more appropriate term is “Panther Man.”
• Oh, and the vampires/weres/wiccans/witches of Shreveport kick some vampire-blood-drinking werewolf witch ass.

Basically, the “what happened to Eric” story is significantly better than the “what happened to Jason” story – the latter at which I found myself rolling my eyes. Soooooo I give the book a generous 3 stars.

Recommended to those who find Eric’s character hunky and want to live vicariously through Sookie.